Friday, July 13, 2012

Feelin' Calm

That is how I felt the entire time leading up to my CT.  Calm.  I was reassured many times that there was nothing to worry about.  But, sitting in the hospital, waiting for the exam, well, that's an entirely different story.  That is of course when I talked myself into worst case scenario.  What would we do, how would we handle it, how would we tell the kids, how would I pick myself up, yet again, dust myself off and keep trying.  Knowing there was something in my brain was just so much harder to swallow.

The test went fine.  I was somewhat calmed by the fact the my GF's brother was working so it was nice to see a familiar, friendly face (the other guy that works there is pretty cool too!  He has been there for most of my other CT's) and joke around with the two of them.

But as soon as that test ended, I asked when the results would be available.  He told me later that afternoon they would be electronically but we wouldn't have the official results until 3-4 business days.  Of course.  More waiting.  Well, by this time I had talked myself into have this new problem in lives, and how were we going to deal with it.

I called Ken to see if he could phone our family doc and find out.  Last time he did this, he went in on his own but he said you could tell that our doc was wanting me to be there too to discuss things.  So he said that this time dr would want to see us both.  Fair enough, I just didn't know how I was going to take the news sitting in the office.  It was easier when Ken came home and told me and we could fall apart together.

Ken called the office and got us in.  We were getting ready to head out of town to a family reunion and my nephew's mission farewell (they serve for 2 years!!  Amazing boys!).  I was conflicted about wanting to know, but just really needed to so we could either fake it till we made it, or have a really great weekend.

Waiting (have I told you how CRAPPY waiting is?!) in the dr's office felt like forever.  When dr came in she told us that she hadn't had a chance to look at the results yet either so we would all see them together.  She pulled the results on her computer and started reading through.  Let me quote-ish "No cancer in the brain", well, that is all I heard anyways!!  I almost swore I was so happy!!  I felt like a 1,000 pound weight was lifted from my back.  I felt so great, the greatest I had felt in a long, long time.

She was happy for us too and wished us a great weekend.  I smiled and cried and thanked God all the way home.  I was so thankful for so many things.  The small miracles that happen in our lives are amazing! 

Now we are just going to figure out where to go from here.  I feel really good about the plans that we have made with our Dr here and I feel, once again, that I am in good hands.

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