Tuesday, November 22, 2011


I had the most amazing dream the other night. I was in the midst of chemo and was walking by the mirror getting ready to go out to a work related party of some sort. I was less than enthusiastic about getting ready and even more reluctant about going out.

As I looked at myself I thought, "What's the point? No matter how much makeup you put on, earrings you place in your ears or hat you choose, you don't look like you at all! You look chubby and swollen and nothing at ALL like the girl you used to look like. All it does is make you sad when you get ready because it frustrates you that you aren't who you were. Just forget it."

At this point in my dream I put on a green shirt and thought I would give it a try regardless of how I felt. As I started to do my makeup I noticed that my hair was growing. I played around with it for a bit and then I looked into the mirror again. I was about 140 pounds... not my pre-pregnancy weight but it felt way healthier than my current weight. I felt good. I was actually happy about what my body looked like. I wasn't annoyed that I had another 12 pounds to loose to get to my "goal" weight. I was truly satisfied.

I looked back to the mirror and my hair was about three inches long all over, dark and cut in a really cute way. I had side swept bangs and I was in awe at how it framed my face and my eyes. My eyes!! I still had to do my eye makeup. I was going to go out for sure on this evening. I felt so great!

I carefully put on my eyeshadow and eyeliner. I thought for a brief moment about my beloved eyelashes. They were still pretty thin and only about a third as long as they normally were. I wanted to put on mascara so badly but knew it would only look silly. After snuffing out that thought I decided to put it on anyways. After all, I had already had the most amazing transformation so I figured "Why not?"

I swept the mascara wand carefully over my eyelashes, as if it was the first time I had ever put it on. Every time I finished the stroke to the end of my lashes, they grew longer and longer. It was the most amazing thing. By the time I had finished my lashes, they were full, thick and longer than they were before. I was mesmerized by my eyes. They were stunning. They were happy. They were beautiful. I was beautiful... once again.


I can't even explain how incredibly amazing this dream was. I honestly think it was a gift from our Heavenly Father too me. It has so many meanings to me... Like he was telling me, "See my beautiful child, I told you I would take care of you. I told you I would make you truly fall in love with who you are no matter what you used to think. I told you I was right here with you all this time, loving you and encouraging you to keep going. My beautiful daughter, I have always seen you in this way regardless of how you saw yourself. So love the wonder of this body that I have created for you. Take care of it and it will take care of you. I will always be here, beside you. I love you my child."

Honestly it was just what I needed. And I am so blessed to have had this experience. I will treasure it always.

1 comment:

  1. That is Beautiful! You are so good at writing, and so possitive. Thanks for sharing :)