On the verge of tears!

My appt yesterday went really well with Dr. M. Have I told you how amazing he is?? Well, he is, if you haven't heard. He asked me if life was returning to normal and how my energy level was. I answered with excitement, coming off of my chair a little bit. He smiled a big smile and said, "I don't think much slows you down." I think he is (for the most part) right.

He asked me how I was healing and how long the radiated area bothered me once I got home. Then it was time for the check up. I guess I am very lucky that I am a super white chick because the area that was radiated it hardly visible anymore. I am a bit pink on the left side under my arm but that is about it. He said that had I had darker skin like his, I would have a "tan" for about a year and a half afterwards. I guess being glow-in-the-dark has it's benefits!

I asked him if it was normal for my side and ribs to still be bothering me. I asked him if the scarred area can re-adhere (my sis told me it can so I knew it had in some spots). The answer to these question's were yes. That made me feel ok to know that the pain that I still have is "normal". The things that I worry over now are a lot more of a stress than would have been previously.

I though that everything went well. When we left he said "I'll see you around." And as great as this man is, I hope I never have to see him again... unless we are visiting Kelowna and pop in for a quick "hi".

***

This morning I had to go in for a CT. I got undressed and sat in the chair and waited for my turn. The two tech's came out and said that they didn't think that I needed another CT until June. My heart started to race. I was panicked and I didn't have Ken there to back me up. I told them that my oncologist said that I need to have a CT every 6 months for the next five years. With this info, they went to the radiologist and spoke to him about it.

I was trying not to cry. I have been waiting for this CT for a long time and I want to know what it or more likely, isn't going on in there. Then I will SORT OF rest easier for the next 6 months. As I was sitting I was thinking, "I am already here. I am already undressed are ready to go. I am 31 years old and I have three kids and no one is going to tell me that it isn't necessary. I am scared and I want to know how things are. Please, PLEASE just do the CT for me."

The man came back out and said that they decided that they would do the CT because "your oncologist" said that is what should be happening. I asked what the problem was with doing another CT. The man told me it was just so that I wasn't over exposed to radiation... REALLY??? Really? Apparently this radiation is different than the radiation that I have already had because this radiation is man made. I'll have to research this a little bit because I am confused by it.

Anyways, they got me in and did the scan. Now I am back to the darn waiting game of finding out what is going on. The waiting is the worst part. Truly. I don't like it. I'll keep you posted!