Thursday, January 19, 2012

The verd is in.

Alright... (big SIGH). I have my MRI and CT results in hand. I am just writing from my heart right now. I really want to get into our doctor and ask some question's to put my mind at ease... or not. So I will put that update in later.

I will start with the MRI. The "lesion in the right breast at 6 o'clock position... seen previously is no longer visible on today's exam. There is no suspicious abnormality identified in the chest or abdomen included on the STIR (whatever that it!) sequence." In their opinion it was a "normal exam. No persistent abnormality right breast, no adenopathy or metastatic disease visible on this exam."

I am nervous that the mass that was there before was cancerous and that it has been shrunk by the chemo. I know this is good news, but I am really starting to think of further action I can take to make sure that it doesn't come back in the one sagger I have left. At this point to me, everything staying the same is the best possible news... no changes would have meant to me that it is just the way I was made and so it is not a big deal. So, I will be looking into this to find out some more details.


Onto the CT. Barf... and barf some more. Apparently I am the only one worried about what was said in it. I didn't really barf by the way, I just got the wind a little bit knocked out of my sails.

This exam says "There are some stable small subpleural nodules at the lung bases. One of the nodules in the right middle lobe anteriorly has increase in size from 2.0 mm to 4.3 mm (MILLIMETERS - I was totally freaked because I thought this was cm's. Glad I had a retard moment and read it wrong!) No new nodules within the right lung. Within the left upper lobe... there is some new faint ground-glass opacity and small regions of subpleural reticular change (fancy words), which would most likely relate to the radiotherapy related change if this has occurred recently (which it has).

Their impression was that "There has been a slight interval increase in the size of one nodule withing the right middle lobe which is of uncertain significance.... CT followup... recommended... for sure with 3-6 months' time..."

I just wish that there was some time when everything was normal and we didn't have to wait for another test or scan for the next 3-6 months... I will live life as I have been, somewhat normally, and try and push this to the back of my mind and FREAKIN' WAIT (sorry, I am mildly frustrated) until the next CT.

The oncology nurse V has contacted my oncologist so that I can chat with her about what is going on. I am glad that I still have the ability to speak with her and her great set of brains!

I am also blessed with great brains in the family and I spoke with my Auntie and Uncle and they were able to read the report and tell me their take on it. They read it and didn't think it was that big of a deal. They said I should speak with my oncologist (which I will) and that I really shouldn't worry about what is going on. Like they said my body is healing and so some things are changing as well. My Auntie said that the nodule is so small it would still be way to early to biopsy or anything. The next event that would happen if they are concerned would be a dye contrast of my abdomen and they have not ordered that so I am taking this as "all sign's point to not freaking out." So I am going to try and let it go for now.

Like my Momma said, I am in the system (are any system's ever good??) so I will be and am being watched carefully and closely. That makes me feel a little more secure. I just want to be on top of this like me on chocolate to make sure that we are completely informed of what is going on at all times until we get the ok that we can stop worrying (would that ever really happen?).

I will let you know what is going on after I talk to the oncologist. Otherwise, I will just be playing the waiting game again for the next few months.

I have had many blessing as of late and they tell me that I need to trust in the Lord and trust in his plan for me. I have been blessed with health and peace and I need to rely on him and know that he is blessing me daily. And for that I am grateful.

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