I don't know if it was just yesterday when I went to get my blood taken, or if it is truly how people are starting to feel. But most people in the chemo room looked tired. I look tired. It made my heart ache to see the bit of struggle in their eyes.... that most common smile missing. Exhaustion and maybe a bit of frustration set in. Please pray for them. I don't know their names, but our Father in Heaven knows who you'll be praying for.
The one sweet man who is usually on the same days as me, has to skip for a week until he starts to feel better. I was sitting by his wife who was leaning over close to her husband as she asked if I had a cold. "Yes," I said, "but I am getting better." "That is why I am leaning over this way a bit," was her remark. I felt so bad that I could have got them sick, and he is already not feeling up to par.
I brought W with me yesterday too. He has been having a really hard time with all of this. He worries a LOT. He gets a LOT of tummy aches and often asks what kind of cancer he could get. "Mom, do kids get cancer?" "Can you get eye cancer?" He has some dry scalp and Ken and I were picking at it and he wondered "Is it skin cancer?" Yesterday we were driving home from the hospital and he asked "Can I get leg cancer?" "How old was Terry Fox when he died?" "I wish you never got cancer..." THAT breaks my heart. I want him to worry about how many days until he goes back to school, where his fave toy is that C hid on him, when he'll get to play X-Box, why he has to eat cereal all the time for breakfast... I just want him to be a kid and worry about kid stuff. Not adult crap! Please pray for my little man. He needs it more than me I think.