Ecuador. Yay or nay...

I don't want to annoy any of you, but Ken and I have seriously been considering ALL of our options. It seems that there are so many and trying to pick the right one is proving to be more difficult than I had ever expected.

I am just no 100% sure that Ecuador is the best decision anymore. Maybe it's because I have listened to others voice their opinions about going here. Maybe I have had too much time to think. Maybe I am just scared to travel so very far, spend $25,000 on a treatment (I don't want to have to live in my parents house forever, especially when they move here. At the same time, will I even be alive to have my own home ever again? Guess today is a bit of a down day. Have you ever been on a terrifying roller coaster?? This is what it is like, but worse.)... Maybe I am confused for a reason. I feel a lot of pressure, mostly from myself and my brain is literally starting to hurt with making up our minds.

I just don't want anyone to think that we are flaky. I want you to know that this is the hardest decision I have EVER had to make in my ENTIRE life. Trust me when I say, I want to make sure that I make the right choice, the best decision, and pick a therapy that has the best outcome - for my family and myself. It's not that I don't want peoples opinion's but I just want them to understand how difficult this is. I have asked a lot of family and friends what they would do. The response is usually the same, and they don't in any way envy the situation I am in and they truly feel that this is only a decision I can make. I just with someone would make it for me. Anyone have a crystal ball?? KIDDING!!

I am sure Ken is exhausted with me asking him every 5 minutes to call another clinic and see what they have to say. He has other things to worry about other than making this choice.

I have spent hours and hours researching, reading and talking with various people. I do feel that I can make a good informed decision, but it's not coming easy. Again, sorry about this post, it is all over the place.

You know what I want. I want to be excited that my baby boy's turning 8 tomorrow! I don't want to think of any of this. I don't want to be thinking of where I should go, has it already spread further, will it be too late by the time I actually make a decision. Will I be here when he turns 9? I don't want this shadow of thought to be in my way, lurking around every corner I turn. I don't think the rain is helping me... I need a shower, some sun and some birds.

I will share with you the other clinics that I am looking into. I don't know if you want to take a look at them and maybe tell me what you think. This one is in Fort Langley - CANADA!!!! http://www.integratedhealthclinic.com/index.htm He is a board certified naturopathic oncologist. I have read the benefits of many of his treatments.

This one is one in Reno Nevada. It will cost us $30,000 or more. http://www.drforsythe.com/ He is a board certified oncologist and a board certified naturopathic doctor. He does use small doses of chemo if necessary, but only 1/10th of the amount so there are little to no side effects. I should mention that is only if I would say yes to it. But he knows the ins and outs of both sides. I think that is so very important.

And then of course there is still Ecuador http://www.quantumcancermanagement.com/how-we-treat-your-cancer.html I still feel that this option will be a good one... There are so many things to consider.

Anyways, like I have said before, please read Suzanne Somers Book "Knockout Interviews With Doctors Who Are Curing Cancer And How To Prevent Getting It In The First Place." You never know who's life you can help, and although I pray that you never have to go through this, if you do, at least you can make an informed decision about what is best for you. Thanks for letting me bounce ideas off of you from all directions. Sometimes it helps to get it all out and re-evaluate.