Well we aren't really any further ahead right now. I finally have my PET scan booked for Monday, so at least that is coming along. We have made our decision to go down to Ecuador so now we are busy trying to get all things organized before we go. We need to get on top of our flights, I need to renew passports (not leaving myself much time!!), get things organized for the kids from a school aspect... I just feel like there is so much to do and I am not a world traveller, so I am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.
We DID get the kids shots done. That went over really, really well... We were waiting at the clinic and W was asking if the medicine was going to taste gross. Did I mention that we didn't tell them what exactly was going to happen to them?? ;) Well, when it was finally our turn, Ken asked who wanted to go first and W shot up his hand. So in he went. K, C,the two ladies that were working there and myself kept talking and then W started to scream and cry. Poor little guys, he hates needles. So I kept trying to talk louder to mask it out, and the kids looked at me with the terrifying look in their eyes, "Mommy!! What is going on in there??!!" I felt so bad and tried to reassure them that it was fine. It wasn't working. C went next and he did really well and then K went and she did just fine as well. Next time maybe we will start youngest to oldest. Nice Mom hey!!
On a depressing side note, I can't help but think of how normal I feel and I wonder how long I will feel this way. I hope and pray it is for many, many years to come. I feel like me when I wake up, I feel like me when I am making lunches, I feel like me when I eat supper. I feel like me when I pick up my kids, kiss their cheeks, hold my husbands hand go for a drive as a family. I feel like me when I get upset or short with the kids - um yeah, they are kids and they still drive me crazy! I feel like me when I read them a story, take their picture to capture a precious moment in time or pin up one of the masterpieces on their cork boards. I feel like me when I go throughout my day.
I can't imagin not feeling like me. Not having any more strength to fight, not wanting to eat, not wanting to play, not wanting to live... It is a sick and sad picture that one. And I pray that it will never happen that way.
It is so weird to have your mortality presented to you in statistics and time. It is not fair but we all know that life isn't. So I guess we just have to make the most of our time... make it the best time. Make now count. The only time that we are garunteed is this exact moment that we are living and breathing, and we need to be thankful for that.