Sunday, April 10, 2011


Now that I gave you the surgery walk through, I thought I would let you know how I have been feeling. Yesterday was weird. I felt weird and I hated looking at myself when I walk by the mirror. I told my sister today that "I hate only having one boob because you can see my gut so much better than you used to. Two boobs used to hide it." She honestly replied, "It didn't hide it before, you only thought it did." I LOVE HER! She made me laugh, and honestly, it's true.

Every time I walked by the mirror I did it quickly. I have tensor bandages on and I still have dressing over top of the surgery so I haven't really seen it and that is fine with me. The back of my arm down to my elbow is numb and so is the area where they took off my breast. That is ok though, it makes it a lot less painful I think.

It is nice to be home although I am afraid for my life of Carson. He just doesn't' get it. He is crazy, jumps all over the place and still asks every 5 seconds "Isth your boob still cut off?" And Wy and Kate are obsessed with touching it, again that is ok.

Ken didn't want to sleep with me last night because he was afraid of ripping out my drainage tubes. So when I went to bed I cried myself to sleep. I was really sad and felt alone even though I know I wasn't. But I just needed to have a good cry. And I really felt that the Lord was there with me, and I felt ok and fell asleep.

Today was good. Ken took the kids to Church and I slept the whole time. Then they came home, they watched a movie and I came back up to bed. Then Ken came up for a nap, Mom was sleeping and so was Cars. It was quiet except for Wyatt playing X-Box at volume level 30. Kate was cute and just spent some time building a lego thing. But it was nice to have a sleep, especially with my man.

When we woke up, Ken was so sweet and gave me a bath. It was hard to look at myself, naked in the mirror, tensor's off and just a big pad over the surgical site. He was so caring and loving. He grabbed the soap and my razor for me and soaped up my legs for me, then I started crying and told him I could do it myself. He said, "I know. I just want to help you." He helped me wash up, and I got to shave my legs, and one pit. It felt SO good! He got all the pink cleaning stuff off of me and I feel so clean now. I really feel ok but I am really nervous to see myself without the bandage off. All in time.


  1. Hey Geneva!
    I finally figured out your blog. It's amazing to read up on to day. You are an amazing strength to me!
    -Amy Miller

  2. You're doing great GV, and a heck of a lot better than I would be doing in that situation. What an amazing man and family u have in your life! That makes my heart smile, so many of us are pulling for you, we love you! Xoxo mel

  3. Geneva,
    You truly are amazing. I can't begin to imagine what you have and are going through and you seem to take it all in stride. Sounds like Ken and the kids are taking awesome care of you. You certainly deserve to be pampered!! Thanks again for sharing everything with us. You make me make me make me very proud to call you my friend!!!
    Lots of Love, Linda xoxoxo <3

  4. Wow, this seems like it has been really fast from when you told us to now! I wounder if you find this all so fast...I am glad that you got in so quickly.
    Keep it up G, you are truly an inspiration and I am sending you and your family lots of hugs and brownies over the internet okay!!

  5. GV my prayers are with you,my special girl,you are a tropper.I know the good Lord is with you,and keeping you strong,keep up the good work my Angle.all our Love Gilbert and Rita

  6. Hey Geneva!
    I just wanted you to know I've been thinking of you! You're a tough girl and you really inspire me! Try to keep smiling! I'll keep praying for you!

  7. Hey Geneva, you are so amazing! I am thinking of you always. love you so much.
    P.S. you are probably the cutest hospital patient ever :)

  8. It's got to be hard to be missing a part of you, I can't even imagine. But you've got so much heart in you that you'll overcome this!

    A few BC friends have found some great sites for bras, swimsuits, camis, etc. They are out there! Lots of big name places sell them as well.

    You are beautiful <3 You'll remain to be beautiful no matter what! Whether you try a prostheses or not, there's not a thing that will change how much you shine!

    ~Cassie Stone Mittan

  9. my heart is full of love for you my dear friend.

  10. I wish you didn't have to go through this, but I have such an overwhelming sense of awe and respect and admiration for you, and for your wonderful husband who loves you so much. I'm praying that you heal quickly. I'm sending you a huge cyber hug until I can physically hug you again.

  11. I love you sis you still look hott! I wish I could have looked a fraction as good as you did here when I had the girls. Heck I even got up and did my makeup and still looked like crap! I'm excited to come do some pictures I think they will be great for really showing people what it's like to deal with this. I love you GV!

  12. O.K. G., it amazes me how you can look like sleeping beauty after a big surgery! Honestly, put a jewelled, tafetta gown on instead of the boobie bandage in the picture. That's what I thought of when I saw you snoozin' there. I'm glad Ken is your prince (shirt on or off) and remember that they lived happily ever after! You're a princess Geneva! An honest to God princess of the King!