I feel miserable right now. Overall I had a good day, but right now I am done. I yelled so loud at my kids that my throat hurts... Mother of the Year. I think if I smiled right now my face would crack into a whole bunch of tiny pieces.
I have to learn how to better deal with PMS with "cancer" (it feels like such an excuse), because PMS is just an excuse in Ken's eyes. So combining the two is not a good combo.... I'll have to learn how to smooth it all over. Right now I don't even want ANYONE to look at me, I want to crawl into a hole for a few days and come out when I feel human again, that way I don't have to be wicked BEAST to anyone. We'd all be happier...
My Gramma wrote a poem for me that I wanted to share on here. It made me cry, and I'll probably cry even harder while I am typing it out thinking about the kind of Mom I was tonight.
Who is "She"
She is a tall, beautiful, auburn haired, talented, witty, ambitious, caring wife of a husband who loves her deeply and a Mother of three very young "scamp toads, scaliwags and imps" who keep their Mom on the go. (Two sons and one daughter)
She is the oldest of the two daughters of her parents, the first to lend a helping hand whenever she can-especially to her Mother.
She has a warm, pleasant, out-going personality and makes friends easily.
"She" is my lovable, cherished and beautiful 30 year old Grand daughter "Geneva" who has had a special place in my heart from birth.
At present "Geneva" is faced with one of the greatest challenges of her life. She is strong and courageous and will fight with every being in her body and she will succeed.
Don't tell her I put a picture of her on here, she would kill me. :) I think she looks beautiful! 
That was sweet of your grandma. Some days (especially PMS days) I have to remind myself "this too shall pass"...love you lots and hope tomorrow is a better day!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Your gramma is a wise woman. I know this is hard, and my comment isn't meant to seem flippant, but I cannot imagine how your mom and gramma must be feeling right now either. My gramma was glad to pass from cancer, because she thought of it as at least it is her and not me... I want to hug your gramma right now!
ReplyDeleteBe a yelling maniac, sometimes stress comes out that way! XOXO
Geneva
ReplyDeleteDon't be so hard on yourself!You've got a lot on your plate. I used to tell my kids that I needed a time out when I had really bad PMS. When they got older they finally figured out what was going on and they'd say "Time out Mom!"
Sorry u had a rough day, the best thing is that they are in bed and tomorrow is a new day. Love ya xoxo
ReplyDeleteOne of the best things I learned from a student was if you go watch them sleep it will make you forget everything and remember how beautiful and peaceful they can be. Love you sis let me know if there is anything you need me to do.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine being a mother, and how hard it is! Don't be hard on yourself...you are doing an amazing job :) I see mothers everyday who aren't as kind and capable as you are...cut yourself some slack. Such a beautiful poem by your grandma :)
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