Friday, May 13, 2011

Blog last night, ya right!!!

Before - Happy as a clam. This is just the IV going into my portacath... no biggie.

We will NOT be showing any after pic's!! But I can sum them up for you. Running down the hallway, bright white face, faded brown freckles, pretty hair though - pulled into a bun (don't want any barf in it!) and over sized clothing... beautiful. After my first barf I laid on the bathroom floor trying to cool off. It worked and I was ok until 2am. Then I was sick again and slept pretty well until 8ish. I'll take it, but I want a nap today!

But I just kept thinking that this is for the good and that I can do it!! I took all the meds like I was supposed to, but I guess the drugs got the best of me. I really wanted to be able to not barf during this whole thing, but whatever. This is life.

W is a bit terrified of me currently. He doesn't really want to touch me because he is afraid of getting sick too! We told him that "Mommy doesn't have the flu" and you can't get sick from me, but he doesn't get it. And if I was him at that age too, I would have avoided my Mom like she had the plague! Poor little guy. I hope that he will eventually believe that he won't get sick from me. I only have 2 more of these chemo treatments and then next ones side effects don't include nausea... just some other crap. I am sure I can deal with that.

But honestly, now that I don't feel like I am going to die on the bathroom floor, I feel pretty good. I feel like I have a sunburn, maybe that is from the HORRIBLE hot flashes that I had last night. I thought that I was going to spontaneously combust from the inside out. I was sweating like a freak.... am I over exaggerating, or is this what a hot flash is like?? I feel sorry for menopausal women. That has gotta suck! But I am really red in my face and upper body, but I don't have a fever.

I have taken my meds as prescribed and I am taking Gravol for a few days until I know that I won't be needing it. I am not even going to fart around with the idea of being O.K. I am much more O.K. if I am not nauseated!!

I am sure that Ken had a crappy sleep last night because every time I moved I know he was worried if I would wake up and be sick again. Poor guy, I should let him sleep somewhere else. But I love knowing he is beside me. It makes all the difference.

Enough of my "glamorous" shots (trust me, I know I am not glamorous). Cancer is not that pretty and neither am I right now so I though I would show you what I do look like... post barfing of course!!! ;)
It looks like I just got back from a run.... little secret, I didn't!!! LOL What a red blotchy face, at least there is some color! I look hot with leftover eyelash glue on my eyes and yesterdays mascara all over my face! "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"


  1. You continue to amaze me, you're are doing so awesome! Heck I don't look that good most days!! Keep it up, this will all be a distant memory one day, love you lots,

  2. hey you from trina :) Go geneva , well you made it through the first day yeah .. and your count down is on now. Remember the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step and you did that .. I remember thinking at the begining 999 to go arrrrrrffffff ....but i got there and you will too . And you are amazing and who cares if you live in sweats and uggs for a year i did and i still love them... And life will continue and you will laugh each day about something or someone and be thankful your unfortunate looking dr is so smart.. haha. advice just don't eat corn.. later lv t

  3. Hey Girl...i busted out laughing when you were talking about the hot flashes; YES,YES,YES that is what menopause hot flashes feel like and they are the worst. Sometimes my husband would wake up and i'm sure he was thinking i peed the bed for the insane amount of sweat that was coming off of me. I want you to know that there are so many of "us" out there the understand how you are feeling, and the things that you are going are not alone, and we love you.

  4. You made it through day 1 - yay! I share your intense hate of barfing...well, of barf in general. I'll be praying you don't have to do much more of that! You are amazingly strong- I love you.

  5. Nope, you still look beautiful. Red faced and all!!!

  6. One down.......and you still look gorgeous!! I agree with Mel.....I don't look that good on the best of mornings!! Keep up the positive attitude Kiddo!! You can do this!! Sending lots of Love!!!!!
    Love, Linda xoxoxo <3

  7. So very proud! You threw up and you survived! You are beautiful, I honestly love you more!

  8. You are gorgeous with out makeup!
    You are a classic kootney natural girl. :)
    you are beautiful.
    you are amazing!
    you are strong!
    you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.