Tuesday, May 10, 2011

"Mommy, when is your hair going to fall out?"

A question that the kids, especially K has asked me quite often. I guess she is excited that it will be coming out?? I am not sure. I honestly think she will cry when she see's me do it. I am sure I will too, so we can hug each other and give it our all! ;) I am thankful for the shoulder's I can cry on, although I don't feel the need to really cry a lot right now. Like I said, I am sure that chemo is going to be the tough one for me, but I still feel strong.

So back to the hair. I am sad that I am going to loose it. At the same time I just want to cut it and get it over with. I feel like I have been waiting forever for it to happen even though I haven't started any treatments or anything, but just the wait is crappy. Knowing that it is coming... but who knows when. Three weeks? Six weeks? I don't want to cut it too early, but I don't want to wait until it is falling out in huge long clumps.

It is truly one of the only things that makes me feel beautiful and I don't know what I will be able to hide behind when it is gone. Nothing. I will just be out there. Hope my wig comes in soon!! ;)

I used to hate getting ready and doing my hair just because it takes forever. BUT I love having long hair. It has taken me 4 years to grow it out to this stage. I am sad it is going to take that long to do it again!! I guess I can make a goal that by the time I will hopefully be 5 years cancer free, I will have my locks again! That is something to look forward too!


  1. You absolutely do NOT have to hide behind your hair!! It's not what makes you beautiful!! You are beautiful inside and out!! Thought I would let you know that I've heard from people who have lost their hair to chemo that it comes in soft and beautiful when it grows back!! I love the "cancer free for 5 years" statement. Definitely something to look forward to!! Sending love to help you get through your first treatment on Thursday!!
    Lots of Love, Linda xoxoxo <3

  2. I totally agree with Linda, you are beautiful inside and out, and definitely don't need to "hide" behind your hair! But I can also imagine how sad you are that you may lose it....... But you will still be beautiful :-)
    Good luck tomorrow, I will be thinking about you!

  3. My thoughts and prayers are with you tomorrow and always. Good luck.